An Unwanted Mini-Vacation

17 Apr

I think I have the worst luck/immune system. Ever.

For a few weeks I would get random fevers that would go away within a few hours. Then this past week, boom. It hit me like a brick wall. I wasn’t able to breathe due to swollen tonsils and glands. My fever was at 102. And I was having awful side pains. I have mono. I go to the ER because I literally feel like death. I got a sonogram of my spleen and it was enlarged (why it was hurting so bad). Since my spleen is so enlarged, it’s easy to rupture if I’m doing high impact activities. And apparently rupturing your spleen is serious shit.

Of course the doctor asks, “Do you do any sports?” I cringe because I have a partner CrossFit competition on May 10th. The doctor informs me that I can’t be working out for six weeks with mono. My heart sinks and I’m fighting back not bawling like a baby. I should be thinking about my health, how I need to rest, how I’m just going to sleep for six weeks. But that’s the last thing on my mind.

I have some glimmer of hope when I have a follow up appointment with my family physician. I told him about my competition, asking if there was anyway I could still do it. He said at the end of April I should get another sonogram. If my spleen is back to normal size, then I am able to compete. Hallelujah. But, he said feeling tired and lethargic can last for a few months after I’m cleared from mono.

While fighting this virus, my diet has gone to shit. My daily schedule: Drink tea, eat ice cream, nap, repeat. Ice cream was the only thing that would give me some sort of relief for my sore throat, but, at the same time I freaked out about gaining weight. After avoiding the scale for a few days, I finally decide to step on and face reality. To my surprise, I have lost weight. Yet I am still worried about losing muscle and coming back to the box and not being able to do anything again. I’d start back at the beginning.

This kind of thinking has mind fucked me into a mopey, self-pity party. But I have to look at how far I’ve come, and how far I will continue to go. This time a year ago, working out 6 times a week was taboo for me. Doing my bi-weekly, one hour of elliptical was what was going to get me to lose weight. Oh, how times have changed.

On the left was my junior year of high school, still not at my heaviest. On the right was this month -35 pounds down.

On the left was my junior year of high school, still not at my heaviest. On the right was this month -30 pounds down.

 

On the left was about 8 months ago, fresh into CrossFit. On the right is this month.

On the left was about 8 months ago, fresh into CrossFit. On the right is this month.

Now I’m more concerned about accomplishing goals of lifting weights, and doing movements that I still can’t get at the gym. I’m more concerned about keeping on muscle than worrying about my thighs not touching. I’m more concerned about being better than I was the day before.

Slowly but surely I am getting better as the days progress. And it’s just my luck that I have finals this month.

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

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